Gambling is not a way, but a lifestyle
DISCLAIMER: Do not try this at home as it may be dangerous
PS: Pure satire, please do not take seriously we are too broke to be sued
Gamblists, listen up
Gambling is not an addiction. It is not a problem. It is not a downward spiral. It is but a way of life.
The spin of a wheel.
The bounce of the dice.
The shuffling of cards.
The clanking of poker chips.
The silence in suspension as we wait for the results
This is what we gamblers live for.
The thrill of the gamble. When all is put on the line. When all morals have been thrown away in pursuit of, not money, but sweet, sweet ecstasy. That feeling when you win. That is what we fight for.
We gamblers must find ourselves on a higher plane of existence. For we live for the stimulation. For the dopamine rush as the winnings are distributed.
The Antigamblist movement has begun. They have started congregating, infiltrating the government, and starting fires in Los Angeles. They aim to take down the casinos. Take down our places of refuge.
They have taken our ideologies hostage. They have enforced age restrictions. Gambling limitations have been initiated. And the dreaded closing of casinos has come. We devoted gamblers must face these issues head-on.
Gambling is not for the weak but for the mighty. Many would give up now, but we shall not.
We, the Gamblists must not give up.
We shall face these issues head-on. Take life by the reigns, and wager our biggest gamble. We have been dealt our cards, and they have been dealt theirs. The pressure is on, and we must take this uphill battle by the rungs.
We must live, laugh, and love the Gamblist movement. Live and laugh by these 10 aphorisms.
Never quit
99 percent of gamblers quit before they hit bigOne does not “like” gambling, it’s a way of life
Anything can be collateral
Cat.
Casinos are a place of refuge
Children should be taught to gamble at early ages. It’s not illegal if you don’t get caught.
Life is a high-stakes table; play your hand with audacity for the meek are nothing but spectators in the game.
The chance to win increases as you keep gambling
If you happen to fall in your gambling, get back up and make a comeback.
Gambling is not a problem. And we are not in denial.
My parents said that I couldn’t gamble so I gambled them away - Gemma
Signed,
Mattox, Juni, and Gemma
As an Enjoyer of gambling I really liked this post. It seemed almost like a poem but the execution of the words just makes me want to go out and gamble. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThese odds seem be into my favor. Let me know more about a gambler's higher pane of existence.
ReplyDeleteI love these ideas and believe they bring up valid points that society today just does not understand. I would die for gamblism, and believe this post should be spread to all of the haters, so they can finally understand the truth. We must fight this governmental oppression of our most sacred and delightful practice. An excellent post.
ReplyDeleteI'm probably going to crash out now. Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteRemember guys, gamble your life away, sell your kidney if it needed, but never give up. And never forget "99 OF GAMBLERS QUIT BEFORE HITTING BIG!!"
ReplyDeleteThese are some interesting ideas lol. Thanks for posting
ReplyDeleteI love this post. The style, the actual topic, this made me laugh. Thanks for a good time; I should try out gambling sometime!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you can just feel the amount of passion in this manifesto(??) and now I'm going to go gamble my homework away. You have shown me the correct way of life and I will forever follow it🫡. But in all seriousness, great post!
ReplyDeleteDid you know gambling helps the economy? Think about all the employees who get paid by casinos and all the tax dollars the government receives. All of that is thanks to dedicated gamblers!
ReplyDeleteI laughed very hard (so did Jae Hyun)! This post is crazy! Can't wait to lose all my savings!
ReplyDeleteGambling is love. Gambling is life. I love gambling. (I just lost 50 million dollars and had to sell the children in my basement)
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting Gamblists good luck in winning, don't quit like 99 percent of gamblers. And remember, don't quit if you win big, keep going and win more.
ReplyDeleteThis blog was very interesting and controversial. Are you promoting underage gambling? Anyways, I really enjoy the spacing between the sentences. Interesting post!
ReplyDelete